I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
