So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
