also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Are we still banned from the library?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
