so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
