Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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