i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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