ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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