He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
