That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
