This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
