bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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