whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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