omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
