the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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