I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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