I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
