I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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