i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
