she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I wear drunk well.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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