I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
