He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize