isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
