If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
