Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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