dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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