Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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