We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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