We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
