I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
