why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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