I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just forgot I was standing up.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
