Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
