I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
