plz talk dirty to me
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My Higher Power is John Stamos
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
