kristin has been a bad kristin
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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