did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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