I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I cannot find my penis.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
her facebook's as public as her vagina
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
