I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
