he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
