Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
