he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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