we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
