Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
even my farts smell like vagina
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
