Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
