Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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