I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
