there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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