there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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