She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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