what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
