would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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