youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
