Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize