The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
