Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
