im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize