I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
