so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
