u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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