he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize