It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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