If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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