you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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