If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
