I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
