did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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