the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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