I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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