so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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