Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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